Logistics Coordinator

I was thinking about all the stuff I have to do to coordinate getting the Webster part of the family, the Reading part of the family and the Toledo part of the family all to the Worcester graduation. I've booked accommodations, have tried to plan routes and logistics of getting people where they need to be and then home again. In juggling details I remembered that Steve's job title when he worked for the distribution department was "logistics coordinator". I love how that rolls off the tongue, don't you? And it is so descriptive of my life these days. So I've decided to take that as my new title. Logistics Coordinator. It sure beats "domestic engineer", although I guess I can be that too, if necessary. But I am a lot more involved in coordinating these days than being domestic.

I'm not ready yet

The thing is, I'm really too young to have a son graduating from college in 3 weeks. I mean I just finished myself didn't I? Class of '82. I don't know why it is that even though I feel it happening, I am aware of the passing days, in fact they sometimes seem interminably long, but yet the years I can't see. My mother must have been terrified when in one fell swoop I finished school and got married and moved hundreds of miles away from "home". I admit that at 21 I never gave a thought to her point of view. And in fact it is only in the last year that she admitted to me how traumatized she was by her only daughter leaving home. Yeah, of course she was happy to "gain a son", but what choice did she have? I guess I'm dealing with it the way I deal with everything else unpleasant. I pretend to ignore it, put on a good face, and inside I obsess over it. (No wonder my body is falling apart...implosion) I wish him all the best, but I realize his life is really his own. I can give advice (even very good advice), but I can't make him follow it. And I guess I have to be ready to just support him wherever he goes. But I never realized how hard it would be to let go. (Okay so I never thought about it too much before...implosion here I come)

Can't get it out of my head...

Don't you hate it when some song gets stuck in your head? Its not always even a dumb song, but after being obsessed with it for hours (or days) it gets pretty obnoxious no matter how much you liked it at the start. And some start out obnoxious like the llama song, but that's another story. Of course, it rarely is the entire song, but instead just one line over and over. I was going to suggest a few of the songs that I've been stuck with lately, but why get my gentle readers stuck with my obsessions? I will tell you that the only solution I've found for this problem is to sing something else. When my children tell me what song is stuck in their head I always seem to catch it, as I'm very susceptible. In fact if someone even just hums a few notes I usually catch it. Instead of assessing blame I usually just sing a verse of the Nothing Song...that'll teach them! I really only mention all this because someone, who shall remain nameless, came home singing today...

Wanted: Organization skills

I know in my head how its supposed to be. Neat and orderly and filed so that you can find things again. But for some reason I seem completely incapable of making it so. I went in to work this afternoon for the sole purpose of neatening my office. And I did put a dent in it. Got all the stuff under my desk sorted out and put, or thrown, away. And it looks better than it has since we moved in 3 years ago. The top of the desk still needs help. I know I have too much paper. I'm drowning in piles of it. But I must have some gene left over from the Great Depression or something because I just have a hard time throwing things away. And then there's the "little notes"- On my monitor, my overhead bin, the side of my computer, paperclipped to my calendar, in my mug, in my pockets...
Intellectually I know what I have to do. I'm just having a hard time getting there. But at least I've taken the first step today. If only I had some organization skills. I guess I should right now put a hold on "Organizing for Dummies". It can't hurt. And it just might help.

Birthday Eve

Its the little things that get you sometimes. I've missed Elizabeth while she's been at school this year, and tonight I'm feeling it. No crepe paper decorating. No signs to post. Not even any gifts to wrap, or cake to bake. I'm relying on some surrogates to do it for me. I know that our efforts of the past weekend are remembered, but its just not the same. Its the first year I'll be away from my daughter on her birthday. Sigh.
Have a great birthday tomorrow Elizabeth!
And watch out for the pond!

Carl.Solution Premiers

Well, here are the 2 miracles of today. 1. Carl.Solution actually was installed over the weekend and ready for action. 2. It appeared to work (mostly) just fine and at no time was I panic stricken because I forgot what to do.
I'm sure it will get easier and become more natural. And I kind of enjoy finding out that a piece of software actually can do more than I expect it to. There was a little incident where the computer (I swear) said some DVDs were checked out and yet the patron found them on the shelf....But I guess I'll claim human error until it happens again. And then I'll complain bloody murder.

Anyway, the change from Ovlite seemed altogether a non-happening, which is at it should be.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

There were many good things about the weekend trip to Reading. We had lots of fun at a baseball game on Friday night. Minor league parks have the best gimmicks: racing vegetables, the hotdog seller riding an Ostrich, and the game wasn't over til the Viking lady sang. We appreciated the Phillies valiant effort (including a grand slam) to try and come back and win...although they did not; we enjoyed the game nonetheless. It also helped that we brought winter coats, gloves and raingear.
We also had a good time shopping at the Outlet Center. Hardly got to shop enough before we were starving and had to quit. (So we'll have to return at a later date for shoes and dresses.) Elizabeth got her birthday wish of new jeans (x3), as well as a few shirts and a messenger bag. We had a great time playing games on Saturday night; bowling, pool, air hockey and then Outburst. Lots of laughs.
Today we went and visited the Pagoda. Strange landmark for Pennsylvania, but it was interesting anyway. And an excuse to spend another hour together before we had to leave Elizabeth again.

The bad things were: that we stayed up too late on Saturday and therefore were grumpy on Sunday. (Well, not me...but my menfolk who are not used to getting by on little sleep); That there were not enough hours in the weekend (which ties into that part about not enough sleep). The hotel room was not my bedroom, so I had trouble sleeping anyway. And we had to say goodbye to Elizabeth for another month. (At least it was tear free-I think. M was smiling anyway.)

The Ugly: I'm afraid that was me this morning when I testily related how I don't get enough appreciation for the things I do for certain members of my family... I mean who appreciates being awakened, even when they have made it my job to wake them and get them somewhere on time? So damned if I do, damned if I don't, lack of sleep...made me ugly. But I got over it.

Ten good things about Reading, PA

1. Elizabeth lives here
2. Albright's campus is pretty in spring bloom.
3. Outlet mall shopping!
4. The downtown neighborhoods have beautiful old houses.
5. It didn't rain all the time.
6. Um...Elizabeth lives here.
7. Its hard to get (really) lost.
8. There's a pagoda on the hill.
9. Its only an hour away from Hershey.
10. And my daughter Elizabeth lives here!
    

Packing the car

Ever since I was a teenager I have taken a great deal of pride in being able to pack the trunk of the car in a most wonderful and efficient way. Of course since I came from a family of nine it was quite a challenge in those days. Its why I like the challenge of packing the kids stuff for college, or perhaps even coming home from college. So this evening offers no challenge, just a suitcase and "the black bag", our overnight size duffel. I guess the challenge for today was to decide what we need for just overnight, then we can get by on just one bag. Okay, so its no big deal, but I need to celebrate the little things I do well.

Having an ADHD day

Today I just couldn't focus on anything useful. I lost all track of time playing Snood this morning. Then I went in to work and drew a total blank on what I needed to do. I just could not focus. Here was what was in my head:

Gee, I wonder if Harry and Voldemort won't just kill each other in the final book. I know that guy, who's the head of the school, you know, he's so old, he's going to die. What's the postage rate to Canada? Oh I'll find it online. Of course the baby's name is Mary. Mary, Mary quite contrary. Do you ever ...?

Now none of that originated with me mind you, but today I was completely unable to block out extraneous conversation. It took me an hour to compose 2 emails and make a few phone calls. I answered a question for Terri (mostly by foisting it off on someone else...but that's my job right?). What am I to do? I guess I could have tried the headphones trick, although its a pain when I'm running to the printer and/or answering phone calls. But today was a day I could relate to my young friends with ADHD. (This website does a good job of convincing me I have it.) There was just too much sensory stimulation and I needed a quiet room. Perhaps that's why I spent the morning at home in the quiet while Josh was outside. This afternoon, after making dinner with his radio blaring I finally had to ask him if I could turn it off. I could not even convince myself to watch a DVD tonight. At least I got in some quiet reading this evening. But right now, even the buzz of the halogen light is bothering me. Must be bedtime.

Planning a Trip

I don't know why decision making is so hard. Maybe its because life gives too many choices, or because I'm imaginative enough to come up with lots more options than other people. Or maybe its just fear of making a wrong choice. But for a trip to PA this weekend there are many things to decide:
When to leave; Thursday eve or Friday morning?
Where to stay?
What day should we go to the ball game?
Should we got to the outlets in Reading, in Lancaster, or both?
Which car to take?
What book should we listen to in the car?
What clothes to pack (the weather is so changeable)?
And many smaller decisions along the way. Food and route and shoes.
Well, I'm sure we will survive and even have a great time, but I do wish it were easier for me to plan ahead.

Feeling sorry for the Atkins dieters

As I was enjoying a delicious Brugger's Bagel this morning I found myself thinking about those people who have chosen not to eat carbs. How do they do it? I know that some people are able to do anything in their quest to lose weight, but to give up carbs? Okay I could give up some. I really am not a total sugar addict for example. I do like chocolate, but even I eat that in moderation. Actually, I do believe that everything in moderation is a better diet anyway. But back to the main point: What I crave sometimes, and really NEED to eat is bagels. Sometimes whole grain bread will do, or wheat pitas (I craved those last week and finally bought some). But to me a bagel, a real fresh bagel, not the wimpy frozen kind, is the ultimate in comfort food. Given the choice I would choose bagels over donuts every time. And if I have to work a little harder on those crunches, well so be it. Just don't take away my bagels! (For the record, I probably only buy them once a month, but its as necessary to me as an occasional pizza...but that's another story.)

I smell something baking...It must be Sunday

I love my husband, but evidently I don't take to heart Mommom's advice that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. By this I mean that I don't make enough desserts (for his taste, anyway). So on Sunday is his day to pore over the cookbooks, take to the kitchen, and find something to bake. Several weeks ago we were going to a dinner/meeting with our Marriage Prep Team and offered to bring a dish to share. Well the plan was to bake a bundt cake. Which necessitated going shopping for a Bundt pan. Now I had my eye on one of those new silicone ones, so that's what we bought (and right at our neighborhood Wegmans too). As it turned out someone else had already offered to bring dessert and we brought a salad. But the pan was already bought! So today is the test. We have the "Tunnel of Fudge" recipe from the Cake Mix Doctor. And we even had all the ingredients. There is much to be said for a well-stocked pantry (stocked with cake mix, chocolate pudding, chocolate chips, even walnuts). I even get to lick the spoon! Maybe my reluctance to bake is an effort to save my waistline...if not his. But perhaps his Grandma turned that advice around and told him about the way to a woman's heart. Dessert. Well, at least on Sundays, it certainly works.

A Night Out

By now you know that I have no life, so going out to dinner with a group of "library people" is a big deal. There were, gasp, I just realized, 13 of us at dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. After agonizing over what to order, as I so often do, I ordered a thing called Chicken Terragino. (It was very tasty). As it came to the table I realized that Olivia had ordered the same thing, as well as the same salad and dressing. (I guess this was to make up for the fact that Steve was not there for me to order the same as...) So at dessert of course I also had to have the Chocolate Lover's cake. I would have ordered it regardless of what Olivia ordered. I mean, why miss a good thing just to be different? But it was interesting to discover someone with the same tastes at the same time. I, unfortunately, ate more though...and did not go home with a "doggie bag". It was also nice to be away from work and have stimulating conversation without having to stop and answer patrons' questions. There was fun and laughter too. I guess when and if we do it again I would try harder to sit my deaf side away from folks. At least RuthAnn, on my right, was understanding. And hopefully Lisa too, as I turned away from her to catch the conversation at the end of the table. Actually, I guess the middle is the best spot to be part of all the talk. It was fun! Thanks for inviting me Olivia!

Hitchhiker's Guide: the Movie

I was so hoping this movie would be good!

Considering the film has yet to be released I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I'm disappointed. I base this on the fact that in the film Zaphod Beeblebrox has just one head. (And of course we all know he has 2. I mean if the BBC could do it...) Admittedly he does have three arms...but still if the filmmakers are not true to the books on this fact, how many other liberties have they taken? Yes, Marvin is depressed, and depressing. And Vogon poetry still is fatal. But they have changed the "hyperspace bypass" into a "hyperspace express route". Is this to Americanize it? I hope that doesn't mean that we'll lose Douglas Adams' wonderful British sense of humor. But it was a letdown just to hear it...Are they afraid we can't figure out what a bypass is? Its a shame it took years after Adams' death to get the production finished. Perhaps if he were part of the team it would be different. Anyway, it remains to be seen whether or not I'll spend $$ to go see it; or wait til Movies 10 for a cheaper view; or even just wait til it comes out on video and get it free from WPL.

National Library Week

Fun Fact from the ALA: Reference librarians in the nation’s public and academic libraries answer more than seven million questions weekly. Standing single file, the line of questioners would stretch from Boston to San Francisco.

Happy National Library Week. No one warned me so I didn't plan any festivities. But its nice to know that libraries gave themselves a week for recognition. (Of course now if we could only get better funding...) Maybe I'll dress up today in honor of that, and see how many of those seven million questions I can answer!

Its also Poetry Month...And while I'm not really big on poetry (unless its limericks or Shel Silverstein), I do like the Academy of American Poets website when I'm looking for poetic info.

Angry Housewives

Over the weekend I finally finished reading Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons. I admit I picked it up because of the title. The first chapter (Prologue) started in a hospital room, with reminiscing, so that should have been my first clue that it wasn't all laughs. But all in all I liked the book. The basic premise is a group of diverse women, who all live on the same street, start a book club (eventually know as Angry Housewives Eating BonBons). Or at least they call it that because they do read a book each month. But its clear that it is more of a support group, or just a terrific group of friends and the book is just an excuse to get together once a month. Its interestingly told as each chapter has the point of view of a different person (the host of the month). And the book spans several decades, so you experience the growth of the characters, as well as their families. And all the laughter and tears that come with it.

My strongest feeling now though is jealousy. I wish that felt a sense of belonging like that with a group of people. Not that they had a perfect relationship, but they were close knit. And I don't think too many people today have that feeling of belonging. I know growing up we did have a bunch of kids in the neighborhood we hung out with. The Moms knew each other and socialized too. In my neighborhood today we are just acquaintances, and that's the few people I know. Even the women I do see regularly have all become so busy (myself included) that we don't take the time to really talk to each other. Is this why the whole world is becoming so Me oriented? We just don't make enough time for others? And maybe why we feel so lonely even in the midst of people, because we don't share enough of ourselves?

Trying not to think of a Pink Rhinoceros

One of the things that keeps coming back to me from my recent reading of A Hat Full of Sky is the part where Tiffany says that something is "like trying not to think of a pink rhinoceros". Mistress Weatherwax is able to do just that. But after pondering it Tiffany asks, or rather tells, her "I know how you kept from thinking about a pink rhinoceros, you don't know what one looks like do you?" I was thinking that pain is like that pink rhino, if I don't tell myself not to think about it, then I don't think about it at all. But as soon as I exhort myself to stop dwelling on the pain...it becomes a pink rhinoceros. Unfortunately, I not only keep thinking about that pink rhino, but about other stuff too.

Okay so I'm not really making sense am I? Its just that the day in, day out, sinus headaches, sciatica, hip joints aching, just general fibro pain, etc. sometimes take their toll. I found myself almost in tears last week (and I never lose control) just thinking how wonderful it would be for just once to not be tired and achy.

Pit of Despair

Ah, gentle blog reader. Perhaps you have missed my perceptive insights and comments this past week? (Although since I rarely have perceptive insights, I doubt that). But alas, I have been down in the depths of despair, in the throes of mindless introspection (yes, that trap), busy with day to day reality, and in need of mind-numbing distraction. In other words, I could not blog for there was nothing in the brain to share. Perhaps in the coming days I can once again find it in me to blog about the everyday wonders or even frustrations of my life. I promise to try.

3s?

Do bad things ( or even good things) really come in 3s? Like at the library: first Kim, then Marvin, then Sheryl, leaving or retiring. I can deal with that ( or at least I am dealing). Then last week, the well publicized deaths of Terri Schiavo, and then Pope John Paul II. Should I be concerned about another high profile death to mourn? But now there's my microwave which works (sort of)only if I coax it and unplug it to reset...and then there are the beeps when no one is even using it. And yesterday the washer which refused to spin (oh yeah I need to get a repairperson for that. Yuck). So which appliance will it be now? I just can't wait to find out. Maybe it will be the fridge, which will disappoint Elizabeth if she's not here to shop for a new one. Or maybe the dryer and we can buy one of those new 2 in 1 washer/dryer combos. Or maybe nothing else will break, (and no one else will die this week) and we'll know that 3s is just an old wives tale. (Hey, I'm an old wife, what should I believe?)

Its raining, Its pouring...I wish I was snoring

I awoke this morning to the sound of rain on the windows, glad only that it was not ice. And it has kept up steadily throughout the day. The kind of rain that looks like it will never end. That feels like it will never end. I feel as if I have never seen the sun, and as if the rain could be my own tears. I don't understand how I let the weather control my melancholy, but there you have it. It does. I can find no optimism in the rain; no good news; and no vision for the future. Perhaps I should just head off to bed now, and hope that morning brings relief, or at least a peak at the sun.

Now if only I didn't have to deal with time as well. We lose that hour tonight, and no matter how much sleep I get, my body always knows its gone. Sigh.

I've had it with this hair!

I decided this morning that I just could not stand my hair any more. It was too long, and always in the way, especially in the pool (and besides I'd broken yet another hair clip). So I came home and cut it! Unfortunately it was a little uneven the first time, so I had to trim a little more. But I'm very happy with the results now. Very easy to care for! And I'll save so much time in the morning. See the results here.