Birthday Calculator

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The real deal

Well I found out the solution to the persistent headache is real pseudoephedrine. In order to protect me from making meth in my home lab, the government has set limits on how much pseudoephedrine is available OTC, and many products have been reformulated so they contain another chemical that doesn't make meth, and that you don't have to ask the pharmacist for. But apparently this other formula also does not work as well, at least in my body, as a decongestant. The downside is the fact that, while it works great as a decongestant, pseudoephedrine also keeps me awake. All night. (Except for the weird dreams). But being headache-free for the first time in weeks is well worth it.

Loud Wednesday

(N.B. I'm going to ignore the fact that I have not posted in weeks and just talk about Wednesday). It was in fact a very loud Wednesday at WPL. We had to deal with sawing and banging from construction outside the front windows (and on the roof?) Not to mention the rumble and backup beeping of the construction equipment. Then there was the alarm system tests that had high-pitched beeping,constantly, or so it seemed. Add to the mix of kids crying, Jack C teaching AARP (we closed the door), phones ringing and patrons complaining. No wonder I found my head pounding too. The only scary part was when we also saw sparks flying outside the window, and smelled something burning. Hmm...Never did find out what that was. Anyway I hope today will be a little more sedate, but I won't count on it. At least I've spent a quiet morning at home willing my persistent headache to stay away.

Post staff day evaluation evaluation

In retrospect I see that my staff day evaluation was not really correct. What I see in hindsight that I needed, without realizing it, was a confirmation, or validation , of the philosophy I have about working in a public library. First off I found out that not all my coworkers share my feelings. And secondly, I find it very disconcerting. And also the answer to some of what has been subtly eating away at me every time I step into the building. I have often considered how much the public service aspect of my job means to me. I've spoken of it as ministry, and some days I truly feel that way. That's not to say I don't complain about the nasty or scary patrons sometimes. But I realize the degree of empathy (thanks X.) that I do have and it makes me feel good that I focus myself there. But now I realize that there is room for improvement, and we could all use a little help (or a lot) learning to figure out just what the patron in front of us needs, and how to give it to them the best way. So that is the training I really think would be helpful. It would also be a wonderful thing if we really had a consensus in the building that the patrons come first. Not the "woe is us, we're too busy" attitude I sometimes get angry about. I see signs of hope in some of the newer clerks, who do truly want to do the right thing for people (and aren't jaded yet). If only there were not a few who sow discontent. We really do need to be looking in the same direction! So perhaps some training at taking the larger view; seeing the library as a community place. Explaining to each other what we really try to do with our jobs. Its so hard to do your job when you are always apologizing for it (to some people...).

The long awaited list

I got tagged weeks ago, but quite frankly I had trouble thinking of 5 things people don't know about me. My life seems to be an open book. (Well, except for the secrets I won't admit to here anyway.) So I've rewritten this list in my head a hundred times to make it interesting without being depressing.
Here goes:

1. When I was a kid I used to wet the bed.

2. I went to the Junior Prom with my best friend's ex-boyfriend. (Singularly the worst experience of my life.)

3. I talk to myself in the mirror. (Usually trash talk, sorry to say.)

4. I have an over- sensitive sense of smell. I find things offensive that others don't seem to notice.

5. My secret desire is to be a hermit.

Terry Pratchett quote of the week

It is in the nature of things that those who save the world from certain destruction often don't get hugely rewarded because, since the certain destruction does not take place, people are uncertain about how certain it may have been and are, therefore, somewhat tight when it comes to handing out anything more substantial than praise.
~~The Last Hero by Terry Pratchett

The party's over

Chai for breakfast
leisurely morning at home
bread and milk for Frances
wearing my pretty new shirt
Milanos for a birthday treat
cards, gifts and birthday wishes from my wonderful coworkers
busy ref shift
an E hug
pouring rain
out to dinner (yum)
Advisory Board meetings for Josh and I
chocolate birthday cake (double yum)
boo to Carlos for not giving me that home run
nighty night

Venting

I guess I should have blogged earlier when the steam was coming out of my ears (or perhaps my nostrils), but I guess I gave enough people an earful that I got over it. Sort of. Its almost not my business, but it is, at least marginally, my problem since it affects how I feel about my job. At least some days.
Okay, I've said enough for now. Gotta go knit off some stress and watch the rest of the game.

Lily who?

While I do know a Lily or two, its not a name I come across very often. But when I read Whales on Stilts and realized that Lily was the main character, something clicked. There's Lily Kane, Veronica Mars' best friend, and Lily Moscowitz, best buddy of Princess Mia in the Princess Diaries I've been listening to. And I have the nagging sense that there was another Lily recently as well. Where have they all come from?

I'm supposed to be packing

Honestly, I have no time to blog right now, but here I am. We are heading down to Pennsylvania to pick up Elizabeth and then to West Virginia to hang out for the weekend. I'm looking forward to it, hoping I can focus on the fun stuff. I don't like sleeping in a strange bed, or feeling like I have to make every minute count. I just want to relax...and not think about the messes I'll come back to. Okay that I live in, but just that they will still be here. Boy am I rambling. Must need to ingest more caffeine. Anyhow, I am looking forward to an enjoyable weekend with my family. Who could ask for anything more?
Off to finish packing and hit the road. Bye now.

Repeat after me...I am an addict

I am an addict. Why can't I do something once, have fun, and then let it go for a while. No. Not me. If I listen to one Princess Diaries on CD, I have to listen to them all. And the whole thing as fast as possible. Then there's Veronica Mars. I practically beg to get my hands on the next disc. And fresh delicious bagels...How can I eat just one? A game of Spider? Must keep playing till I've played an even number, or have a win streak, or make up some excuse here. I am an addict. But why can't I get addicted to vegetables, or exercise, for cripes sake?

Interesting patron question

So I had an older gentleman yesterday ask me about WiFi. He said he had a laptop and his son gave him a little box to stick in it (for wireless), but the question was this: why would I need/want to use it? I explained the concept of wireless, i.e., not having to plug your computer into a network. And I gave him the flyer we have with the info on setting up the wireless card for our network. He's using dialup at home, so I told him this would be faster if he wanted to do a lot of stuff online. I explained how it made his PC portable, so he could take a meeting at Panera, say. And mentioned how college kids like taking their work with them, outside or wherever. He looked very thoughtful, gave me the flyer back, thanked me, and went off with a rather bemused expression.
Another satisfied customer.

This quote resonates for me today

"The sole cause of all human misery is the inability of people to sit quietly in their rooms."
- Blaise Pascal

My current reading queue, in no particular order

Final account: an Inspector Banks mystery by Peter Robinson
Fool moon: Dresden Files Book 2 by Jim Butcher
The tiger in the attic: memories of the Kindertransport by Edith Milton
Kicked, bitten, and scratched: life and lessons at the World's Premier School for Exotic Animal Trainers by Amy Sutherland
Princess in pink (Book on CD) by Meg Cabot
Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door by Lynne Truss
PostSecret : Extraordinary confessions from ordinary lives by Frank Warren
You've got to read this book! : 55 people tell the story of the book that changed their life
A girl's guide to vampires by Katie MacAlister
New moon: a novel by Stephenie Meyer

Woo Hoo

I had 42 people at my Travelogue today. I feel so much better now.

I'm in over my head

Dear Diary,
It started out so innocently; taking a little old lady to doctor's appointments. I didn't need any emotional involvement. But now here I am; pharmacy aide, chauffeur, shopping assistant, sounding board. I can't tell if I'm too gullible (are her daughter's really that horrible?) or is she really just being devious so I'll come running whenever she needs help(i.e. daily), or doesn't want to be lonely. I don't want to resent her, but I do feel very sorry for her. (Are her daughters really that horrible? Or did she do something horrible to make her deserve the way they treat her?) Am I just paranoid now too, because I feel helpless? And why oh why do I let this anxiety fill me and spill over into everything I do?

I'm feeling frustrated

I had to cancel my first program of the "fall season". And even though I know its not my fault I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Its especially discouraging when some of the other libraries think that 30 people is a low turnout for a program, and to me that's a great showing! I wish I knew what was really expected of me. And that I didn't feel my job is superfluous. But I know it is, as I suspect that Webster residents could live just fine without library programs. In fact, most of them do!

Feeling Unsettled

I can't explain it, but I just feel kind of ansty these days. I can't stick with anything productive long enough to finish it.

Back to school, Part 2

So we filled out the forms, did the haircut, prepped the uniform, backpack, and lunch bag; And Josh went back to school yesterday. Today it almost seemed normal again. No fuss, no muss. But it still feels like the end of summer (it is) and I'm not sure I'm ready for it. Especially since I will have fewer excuses for going in to work late, or for staying away from classes at the pool. But it was fun to get the news about school at dinner. A few new teachers, and a lot of the "same olds". Today will be the beginning of the magazine drive...(magazines or renewals, anyone?), and another boatload of paper to deal with. The biggest surprise is that I did not in fact book a program the same night as curriculum night at school, so I won't have to miss the meet the teachers thing. I know its weird, but I love going to school for a night. It makes the teacher stories so much more vivid if you know who they are.
I'm still fighting the feelings that come with him being the youngest. I mean its 8th grade already, but he's my baby, right? So I still struggle to let go a little more each day. I've got to admit its easier when he steps in and acts responsible too. The problem is that I have to be responsible and parental as well. We'll get there...together.

True Confessions

I beat my children...at miniature golf.
My husband beat me...ditto.
I had ice cream and spoiled my lunch. (Okay I made it my lunch.)
I finally slept through the night last night (7 solid hours, maybe even a little more). And I felt great when I woke up. I can't remember the last time that happened.
I don't feel guilty about wasting time this weekend. I'm enjoying it immensely.
I'm learning to screen calls with my caller ID. And not feel bad about ignoring some.
No more blogging...today.

Rainy Saturday

I just want to mention how wonderful it was to have a rainy Saturday with no place to go. I loved being able to sleep in, lounge around, eat whenever, do the laundry in between chapters of a book, and generally just hang out. I could use another one already. (Or at least a Sunday afternoon nap).

Missing you, and you, and you, too

We've spent an entire week at the library without the wonderful young people who worked with us all summer. I miss looking over at the circ desk and seeing my daughter just enjoying her job. (You could see it on her face.) But the surprising thing is how much I've missed some other people's kids too. I know I'll get used to new people and personalities, but its not the same as having the ones I've come to know and love. And yes, I know they are in a better place (ok, maybe not better), learning new things and enjoying their friends, and their independence. And some of them (Elizabeth, Dorothy, Sarah & maybe even Melissa) will go on to be real librarians and enjoy library life forever. But I still am selfish enough to wish they were still here. I know their spirits hover around because I hear the laughter sometimes.

BTW, I had a wonderful discussion with Arlene today about how much she loved working with my daughter, and that gave me warm fuzzies too.

The Pennsylvania Report

We had a fun time on the weekend heading down to Longwood Gardens. Its quite a cool place if you like gardens and fountains and stuff (and especially photographing same). But for being very large and very well known, there was precious little signage to help you find the place. And like almost everything else in PA it was in the middle of nowhere. But we saw some fun things on the way there, especially since we took the "scenic route". There were the requisite corn fields and dairy farms, but who knew that mushroom farms abound in southern PA? We also saw an amusing group of middle aged men floating down a river on neon colored inner tubes, and a group of deaf motorcyclists signing to one another. There are several small college towns which reminded me very much of my trip to West Virginia last year. (In fact I had several instances of deja vu on the long winding roads.) We crossed the border to Delaware, because it was there, and had lunch and an ice cream at Brusters. And we went to Longwood Gardens. They finish the day with a lighted fountain show that was pretty impressive. And the fact that the rain held off all day was even moreso.
It was a sad thing on Sunday to say goodbye to Elizabeth, but easier knowing that we will see her again in October (hopefully). And since my family had just bought me a whole bunch of new clothes at the outlet store I couldn't cry too much.

Back to school - part one

Okay so now its really time to admit that the summer is just about over. We are heading to Reading to take Elizabeth back to school, and then Josh heads back in another 10 days. The little bit of maudlin thinking is creeping in, but I don't have time for it as I still have to pack my stuff. .. (In the few inches of space left in the car.) It seems like I've been to busy to even think lately, but I can't quite put my finger on what I've been busy with. Maybe too many books or dvds. Nah. Probably just my lack of organization makes me feel busier than I am. And when the time for doing fun things with friends has been squandered by lack of planning, well, I guess I feel a little sad. But we do have a fun family weekend planned, even if it includes the sad bit of saying goodbye. So I guess I should get started and make the best of it.

Survivor: Mom style

4 adolescent males age 13-14
5 hours
Volume set on Loud
Eating machines
Star Wars RPG
Everything's a weapon

But the fact that I'm writing this now shows that I not only survived, but thrived. I lived to tell the tale. I even got a laugh or two from my own lame jokes. I am Mom. I will survive!

19 days and counting

This morning as I (oof) keep pushing Josh away from the (oof) computer so I can have MY time, I am counting the days until school starts. I do love the child, and most times he's helpful and even interesting...But he doesn't always know (ok ever know) when to stop. You would think he would see the signs of my impatience when I've asked him politely to leave me alone, but quite often I just end up yelling exasperatedly for him to be quiet and go away! This morning I've asked him to go make me a cup of tea (please), which he does very well, so I am happy for a few minutes; but he'll be back.

Friday Haiku

Fun dying silk scarves
especially messy but
in good company

Just shoot me and put me out of your misery

I just want to say that after spending most of the week battling constant sciatic pain, I can totally understand why people suffering from chronic pain can be so cranky. Its unrelenting and oh so fatiguing. I just hope this knowledge makes me a better, more patient person (when I stop feeling cranky).

Thought for the day

From Garrison Keillor:

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

Another weekend where?

We spent another weekend, mostly at home, still digging out from packrattiness. I am taking it slow, but deliberate. And trying really hard to throw things away (if I can). We moved the family room furniture around for our new TV, so we now have an antenna that reaches the window to pick up as many HD channels as possible. Its pretty interesting to find that there are 4 PBS stations...only one HD but 2 other digital channels too. And another Fox station that does music videos. I don't watch much TV anyway, but the boys have been happy with all the cooking shows this weekend on WXXI-C.
I'm struggling with the fact that its already a week into August and I haven't done enough "summer things", whatever they are. Maybe because its been too hot to do any outdoor stuff like hiking and picnicking. Any strenuous activity sounds too hot. Well, maybe we'll make up for it in the next few weeks before Elizabeth goes back to school. Or not. I'm too tired and cranky to care. (Oh yeah...a cranky summer too. I just don't like heat.)

Another motherless Disney child

Did you ever notice how Disney movies portray mothers? Or not? Just watched Chicken Little: His mother is dead. Nemo: Dead mother. Bambi: OMG, we hear her get killed. Snow White: evil step-mother. Cinderella: ditto. Belle & Ariel: who knows? But their fathers need help too. Mowgli: orphan.

Kinda scary that this is the company people rely on to entertain their kids.

Let's get (a) physical

I have an appointment this evening for a physical with my family doctor. But I don't want to go. I didn't want to schedule it in the first place. I don't like all the wires and poking and *gasp* disrobing that comes with having a physical. I'm not sure what I hope to get out of this. A clean bill of health? I mean I KNOW there's something wrong with me, maybe several somethings, but it never seems to show up on my "test scores". But I know it when I feel crappy don't I? Or is that just what it feels like to be alive? At least I am alive, and that's a good thing. I guess I finally just gave in because they kept suggesting I have my physical since its been "a few years" (like 10 maybe). Next I suppose I'll have to go for another mammogram, but that's a worry for another day.

Deadlines and HEAT

Its happened again. The Town Times deadline sneaks up on me and makes me realize I need to get my fall programming together. And I have managed to pull together quite a bit of it in the last week. Its just the nuts and bolts of cleaning it up to submit the PR. Then the fun part of putting together a brochure and posters etc. No wonder I overwhelm myself. I guess I need to just take small steps. At least I'm mostly ready for this first deadline.
I am slowly also working my way through putting my bedroom in order the way I want it (and need it to be). Of course this means getting the junk out of the living room too, as I sort it back into place. And toss, recycle, donate or whatever I need to do. It is slow going, but I am soooo tired lately and so HOT. It promises to be a nasty week weatherwise, so it may be a good opportunity to lock myself in the bedroom with the AC on. As ever, the spirit is willing (mostly), but the flesh is weak (very).

Is there a 12 step program for this?

My name is Mary Ann and I'm a packrat.

The good news is that the new bed is here and installed and wonderful!
And the bed room is clean (mostly). Certainly better than its been in a long time.
The bad news is that the living room is full of stuff removed from aforementioned bed room. Lots of old clothes, books (surprise), magazines, dust bunnies. Well, we've released the dust bunnies to the wilderness of the vacuumland. I still have the task of sorting and discarding/donating all of that stuff, and putting away what I really want to keep. And really have room for.
Unfortunately I'm also left with major guilt for having let it accumulate like this to begin with. Maybe when I get rested up (in the new bed) and have the disposal task accomplished, I'll feel better.

But anyway, its very cool to have a new bed.

What's new...

Last week the research began on a new TV, and on Friday we went out and bought a one. HD and 34". Maybe more than we need for the little TV we watch, but the old one just wasn't working. And now we have wide screen for DVDs, which we do watch frequently. We had to buy it Friday night so by Saturday we could rewatch Pirates of the Caribbean. And we had to rewatch Pirates so we could go see the new one on Sunday. It was a good way to stay cool for 3 hours, and we enjoyed the movie too. We also went to see the Taming of the Shrew live at Highland Bowl, and that was fun. Here it is Thursday already and this week has been busy too. As we await the call from the Bed Room that our new waterbed has arrived I make plans for cleaning up and organizing my own bedroom, but have yet to take any action. Maybe if I didn't work, or eat, or sleep, (or blog?), I could find the time and energy. I know once I get started it will be fun. Why is it those first few steps are the hardest? Maybe I should at least wear a bandana today so that I can claim to be "cleaning house" like a (nameless) friend of mine. Will it work?

VBS

Here it is, Friday of VBS week already. The week always flies by because I am so busy. But also I am exhausted. I haven't slept very well because I worry. Or at least I think too much and then have trouble falling back asleep...which is why I've been up before 6 the last few days. It just makes 10 pm seem very far away. (Not that I actually go to sleep at 10 pm anyway. I just imagine that I will, when instead I will actually still want to read or do something else, but not actually sleep). Things have gone very well with the crafts. But I'm pretty sure from my energy level, and aches and pains, that I am getting too old for this. The planning and prep is one thing, but the execution is another. (Funny choice of words there...) But I still haven't learned to say no, I guess because I still enjoy it. Crazy? You bet. (Almost as crazy as making maracas with 160 kids. Pass the ibuprofen, please.)

How I spent my summer vacation

Got back this weekend from visiting family in Toledo, staying with friends in Ft. Wayne and doing "tourist stuff" in Indianapolis. We visited the Indianapolis Speedway, which really is huge, despite whatever you might think from seeing it on TV. And we went to the Children's Museum, which was pretty neat. My FAVORITE thing was a really fabulous Dale Chihualy glass ceiling. Wow. I could have stayed there for hours...Or moved it right to my living room. We also went to the zoo. The Indy Zoo has delusions of grandeur. Too much $ for too little zoo. There was lots of hype for the dolphin show, but it was a great disappointment. They did have an awesome dolphin viewing room, where you are under the dolphin tank surrounded by water. I planned to move that to my house too! There also is a really neat butterfly conservatory in the gardens next to the zoo (separate admission of course), but I wouldn't mind having the butterflies at my house either. (News flash: We are getting one in Rochester at the Strong Museum.) The nicest part of the Indy trip was seeing Kim after a year and half. It was wonderful to find out she is the kind of friend that you can pick up a conversation right where you left off, even after months apart. I realize again how much I miss having her here, but am so glad that all is going well in her life these days. PS to Kim: I had many, many of those homesick days when I moved to Rochester. I'm so glad your folks are trying to fill the gap. Mine did too, and I really appreciated it.

I'm outta here

Leaving town again for a week in the heartland of America...well not quite, but it is Indiana. I have the usual butterflies of anxiety at getting all the packing and chores done, but since there's no real time deadline I don't even understand that whole travel anxiety thing. I am disappointed to be missing fun stuff here, like painting parties and picnics, but alas, its a 4th of July tradition to go away. Maybe next year we'll make our Hoosier friends come here. Also traditional is that they have scheduled Vacation Bible School the week we get back. So I will have to face 150 smiling (I hope) kids that morning and do crafts! I am mostly, sorta, prepared, at least for Monday's craft, so I'm trying not to sweat that one either. But blogging might have to be put lower on the priority list (again). Sorry.
Have a great week and enjoy the fireworks. I will.

A mother's life for me

Its been a weird week on the mother front. For the first time ever I gave my kid the car keys and got dropped off at work. And left my kids with the car all day. Should I be happy, carefree, or worried? Maybe a healthy combination of the two. But its a little letting go that I'm proud I could do. (I forget what a control freak I can be sometimes. Or maybe I really need them to be dependent even as I'm complaining they should "Do it themselves".) Then there was the bizarre feeling of watching my daughter do the job I used to do/still do, working with patrons at the library. Smiling and happy. It tugs at the heart, and even the tearducts. (Yowza, hormones in action.) But also makes me so very happy and proud. Yeah, okay so I can't take all the credit...but for the good stuff I want to.

Customary asbestos infestation

I get some interesting spam these days. Lots of it. I never even open them, but some of the subject lines just make me laugh out loud. I mean, what are they trying to sell? Or do? I just don't get it. I mean even if I wanted to buy ephedra, or hoodia, or even pharmaceuticals, why would I buy it from some stranger online who can't spell? But it would be kind of fun to write some of that stuff...Even I can string together bizarre words as long as it doesn't have to mean anything. The junk mail I do read, because they are very creative, are those letters from African people who want your bank account number. "Please help, my husband/brother/uncle died in an automobile accident/perished in a mysterious plane crash/was poisoned, and I need you to help me get his money out of the country. But don't tell anyone..."

Maybe I should move further north

Did I ever mention how much I hate hot weather?

A new obsession

Its scary, but I've found something new to be obsessed about: altered books. (Google it). Thanks to a coworker, I now can't wait to get started recreating a discarded book into a work of art. I'm gathering some cool bits and pieces of art supplies and chomping at the bit to get started. Its even helping me get through my VBS craft planning and prep, as I keep coming across little "finds" that will be perfect for my altered book, while at the same time actually getting everything sorted and in order for VBS week. That little kick makes me happy and keeps me going. I know, I know, I already have too many hobbies and not enough time to do them all justice; but this looks like too much fun to pass up.

I have to go to work today...

...but I am so not into it. Probably because I stayed up way too late last night, reading, what else. I knew I was tired, almost falling asleep, when I sat down at 10 with Twilight, but I ended up having to finish it. There is something about my body chemistry or brain wiring or something that makes me become addicted to whatever fun thing it is I'm doing (reading, solitaire, crossword puzzle, knitting) to the point that I won't even give up to sleep. I am addictive about food too, I usually don't stop till I'm too full, but my mouth always seems to want more anyway. (Of course I eat too fast, and distractedly, so that doesn't help either). If only I could get addicted to work...(Sure I'll help you find anime at 8:58 pm. I don't want to quit working tonight anyway...)

Snoozing again

She looks so peaceful, asleep on the couch. I just wonder how she does it. And why she didn't do it as a baby. ;-) And I admit I'm a little jealous, because when I try to snooze on the couch someone always needs to wake me. For that matter even when I try to sleep in my own bed that happens. I guess I just wasn't cut out for sleeping. But a gal can dream can't she?

Wasting another Friday

Its fun when I have a day I don't have to go to work. I always have big plans to "get something done", but often I just end up frittering away the day with little stuff. Like computer stuff, or reading, or even crossword puzzles. I have it in my mind today that I want to go to AC Moore and look at craft stuff. Even though it is all the way across town. I suspect that I can entice my fellow non-working family members to go with me. There is stuff in the advert that I would like for prizes at work, and for VBS, and scarily enough, just for me for fun (like more yarn...uhoh). So I guess we are off to do that, although the weather is threatening.
In other news I got my van back, good as new; Actually even better, since all the dings in the hatch are gone. Now I'm just paranoid about getting hit again. But at least things turned out okay. I also hope to pursue the new waterbed this weekend, as we finally have a Saturday with nothing on the calendar. There is the issue of cleaning the bedroom, but forcing the issue may be a good thing. I've been really lazy around here lately, but I know I'll feel better once its done. So there's my goal in writing. Lotsa luck.

Excuses, excuses

Its time for the regularly scheduled blog about why I haven't blogged. And I really can't explain it. Sure I've had time. But I just haven't felt like it. I also haven't sent any letters, email, cards or friendly notes. I've given no gifts, nor called friends just for fun. I haven't even *gasp* been faithfully reading the blogs I normally do. In short, I'm just not very sociable right now. I guess it could be burnout from the many obligations I've taken on the last few months. But it could also be my usual nemesis of depression. I just don't feel like blogging when I'm depressed. (I'm forcing myself to write this now, because Josh - who himself only blogs once a month - complained that I haven't been blogging) . I don't really have a reason to be down, its just a general stresslike malaise. Maybe its the fact that I haven't been exercising regularly (that gets in to the vicious cycle thing..too tired..exercise..too tired to exercise...), or sleeping enough. Or the dent in the van. Or the fact that Dumbledore is still dead. Your guess is as good as mine. I'll try to do something exciting today to blog about tomorrow. :)

We're off to see the Wizard...

It was a wonderful Wizard of Oz! Everything came together. The kids were great, I had lots of wonderful help, the costumes held up and it seemed a rousing success. Because you want to see...here are some pictures: http://s50.photobucket.com/albums/f344/mskwik/play/
Thanks Matthew!

Sacrifices

Blogging
Email
IM
Spider solitaire
Reading books, or newspapers
Watching Buffy (or anything else)
Knitting
Sleeping
Exercise
Work
Eating

All the things I've missed doing the last several weeks due to play costume commitments.
All the things I would also miss if I went back to school, or tried to write a book.
Hmmmmm.

And the winner is...

My favorite conversation at tonight's dress rehearsal:
Student: Where's my costume?
Me: Who are you?
I had never seen her at practice, nor did anyone tell me she was in the show...I'm still sewing.

My favorite response to a costume tonight: The look on the Tinman's face after we spray painted his Nikes silver. Priceless.

And I found out that an ice pack really does help cure a headache fast.

Happy Birthday Matthew!

I have been so busy lately that this birthday thing kind of snuck up on me. I didn't even remember to buy the ingredients for a cheesecake (the traditional favorite cake) so I guess it will be Pineapple Upside down cake. I think that will save lots of time...no frosting needed. And since he mentioned it in passing last week I even have the ingredients. Actually its been 4 years since Matthew's been home for his birthday, so I guess its the first time I have had to worry about cake and dinner and stuff in a while. And I'm still up to my eyeballs in Munchkins, so it will still be a rather short-on-the-extras celebration. The real problem is that I have no idea for presents. And he is not giving me any clues. Suggestions anyone?

Wow its Wednesday already...

Didn't I just blog 5 minutes ago? And its May now too. Uh oh. Time warp. I guess I have been immersed in costuming for the last few days. The deadline looms, and I'm starting to feel the pressure. I did show stuff to the kids yesterday and they (mostly) liked the costumes. There were a few of the kids I wanted to smack (they were mistreating all my hard work!) and a few of the girls that were so sweet and helpful I wanted to keep them! IT doesn't help that we have a Marriage Prep session Saturday, the CROP walk Sunday, 2 AARP sessions this week at work and, oh yeah, a sign class on Saturday to set up for. And the 3 hour evening rehearsal I better sit through tonight to see what other costumes I'm missing. (Did I mention the flying monkeys? No one else did either!) But I'm still determined that I'm having fun!

I forgot how much fun sewing can be

I am up to my eyeballs in Munchkins. At least in Munchkin costumes. I am having a lot of fun with wild colors and patterns. And making them look nice and round with hula hoops (and I may try swim rings as well, since I've run out of hula hoops). But I am much encouraged by how fast it is going (the show is less than 2 weeks away) and by how really cute the costumes are. I put on the Munchkin Mayor's costume (all purple and yellow and big) and Steve thought I looked like HR Pufnstuf, which wasn't really true (ok, well, sort of) but it was really scary that he remembered HR Pufnstuf by name.

More TBF

I spent the day at the Greater Rochester Teen Book Festival doing my volunteer job as a photographer. I shot 2 rolls of film and then a few more shots, and boy was it hard work! (Its too easy to forget the camera and get caught up in things). But as I found out many others took far fewer pictures. In fact, I got some cameras back with 10 or more pictures left . But all in all I can't believe we did not get lots of good, fun pictures that will show people what they missed, and entice them to come to the next TBF (should the organizers ever recover sufficiently to plan another one). I hope that I get a chance to see the pictures that come back...at least some of them, because that's one of the things I like best about photography.
The day itself was great. The authors were all open and friendly and articulate. They were fabulous with the teens, and really shared with them and listened to them. I think that was my favorite part of the day; watching the kids who love to read, and who aspire to write, interact with some of their favorite authors (or perhaps even an author they just read for the first time) but clearly they came prepared and hopefully came away enriched.

TBF

When I took Josh to the Teen Book Festival volunteers training on Wednesday, I somehow was swayed (maybe by the bowls of M&Ms all over) to ask if they needed another adult volunteer. As if they would say no. So I'll be taking pictures with the "paparazzi" tomorrow. It sounds like a fun thing to do, and anyway I was going to go. So other than the fact that I will miss another day of costume prep (no time, no time) I am looking forward to tomorrow. I know it will be wild and crazy, but I hope that's because lots of teens actually show up and are excited about authors; And not just because things go wrong. Fingers crossed.

Happy Birthday Elizabeth!

You are far away, but close to my heart! Wishing you a very happy birthday!
Now I can go bake you a birthday cake...Chocolate, of course, since you are not here to object. ;)

I'm back. Sort of...

Well, I wrote a fabulous blog entry, in my head, around 3 am. Sorry you missed it.

Okay, since you insist I'll try really writing one now. Its been a long time since I last wrote, but I've really no idea how it got to be the end of April. Since then we have shopped for waterbeds, visited our friends in Fort Wayne over Easter weekend (went to church 3 times, got to hold baby Gianna, played Apples to Apples), then the family in Toledo (where we really didn't do much, just eating and a little shopping.) We also visited Castaway Bay and had water fun. (I especially liked the hot tub part). And then here we were, back in Webster to work etc.
For some reason I've found myself a little down since we've been back. I always feel like I miss people more when I see them after a long absence, and then have to leave again. Or maybe I'm just internally stressed by the subtle pressure of Pre Cana next week (which we are not prepared for). And the many play costumes which still need finishing. I feel nervous for the kids, who don't seem to be ready yet...but then the next 2 weeks will be intense practice, so they may be exhausted, but they will be ready.
I can't get in to being back at work either. Maybe a vacation was a good idea, but coming back was a worse one. ;)
I don't know, I'm just out of sorts. And I think visiting all those people without Elizabeth made me miss her more too. I know these next few weeks will fly by, but I can't wait to see her again. (Of course, that feeling is heightened by the impending birthday as well.)

Waterbed blues

I awoke Tuesday morning wondering why it smelled so terrible. Soon I discovered it was my bed...growing mold. Yuck. What a way to start the day. Anyway after a little research I found the culprit, a tiny leak that had apparently been there long enough to cause havoc. The worst smell actually came from my rice filled heating pad which got moist and, you guessed it, moldy. So sadly I disposed of it and started cleaning up the rest of the area. I tried a patch last night after work, but it did not hold well enough for me to sleep there. (My husband, being a man, slept on his side of the bed anyway.) So I slept on the futon. Thanks Lizzie! Since I still could not find the vinyl patch kit I went out today and bought one, and looked at new waterbed mattresses as well. I think I've got him convinced to buy a new one! But at least for tonight the new, reliable patch is in place. And the clean sheets and mattress pad. And I washed it down as far as I could (a water filled mattress is heavy). The test will be whether he starts researching waterbed mattresses now. Then I'll know I've got him!

Vampire musing

I was playing around with Novelist the other week and came across genre lists, including "vampire lit". So I put a couple of things on hold... light reading stuff. I'd already read the Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse books, and now I'm working on MaryJanice Davidson's Undead series. (Who knew vamps were so sexy). Anyhow, imagine my surprise when I went to visit my friend Frances yesterday and she told me that the Polish vampire had just been to visit her. I was rather curious, wondering if she was hallucinating or something. So of course I had to ask her what she meant. Turns out the Polish vampire is a young man, originally from Poland, who comes to take blood samples for tests. (In other words, a phlebotomist who makes house calls.) I've been chuckling about it ever since!

Welcome to the week from Hell

How do I know that this is going to be the week from hell? Two words. Time change. Am I the only one who thinks its a bad idea to screw around with the internal clocks of millions of people? How could you not expect bad things to happen? The man (it had to be a man) who came up with this idea should be taken out and horse whipped. End of tirade. Time to sleep. Or eat more chocolate; that might help too.

Writing a book

I guess it must be something in the air, but while I was at the library today I decided that I should write a book too. It won't be easy, of course, but there are so many crappy ones out there that I should be able to do as well. I haven't quite got the book outline in my head yet, but I think it will be something about a vampire library assistant with fibromyalgia who blogs.

Having fun spending other people's money

I had the great pleasure of ordering from Oriental Trading tonight. Just finished in fact, and now I can't wait til the package(s) arrive. I especially love it because I'm ordering stuff for the school play and for Vacation Bible School, so its not really even my money I'm spending. I love to look through the catalogs even when I don't need to order. In fact I'll probably start another list soon, since of course there is more VBS stuff to decide, and I will probably even get stuff for Summer Reading prizes with someone else's money (from work). Oh what joy! Even if it is tacky little junky stuff (Okay just sometimes), I still like it!

Monday's High Points

• I agreed to help with costumes for the school play. And I really do think it will be fun.
• All the librarians were back from PLA. And they brought presents. Thank you!
• I got the van inspected and it passed.
• I forced myself to go to the pool, and I did not die (agony, but not death).
• I got smiles from a few teen patrons!
  
• I got to eat the last cookie. (They saved it for me!)
  

Just for Fun...

Thanks for letting me steal this...

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. accounting/payroll for my father's business
2. painting and roof-coating ditto
3. elementary school librarian
4. Library Assistant for Adult Programs

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2. Young Frankenstein
3. The Princess Bride
4. Pirates of the Caribbean

Four places you have lived:
1. Staten Island, NY
2. Toledo, Ohio
3. Dayton, Ohio
4. Webster, NY

Four TV shows you love to watch.
1. Star Trek:TNG
2. Start Trek: DS9
3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
4. The Red Green Show

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Yellowstone Park
2. London, England
3. Toronto, Canada
4. Hocking Hills (Ohio State Park)

Four websites I visit daily:
1. www.thehungersite.com
2. www.kodak.com - Birdcam
3. lizardpa.blogspot.com
4. www.watat.com

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Fresh bagels
2. Pizza
3. Black bean and cream cheese enchiladas
4. Dark chocolate

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. an Alaskan cruise
2. In bed asleep
3. having a chat with friends
4. PLA

Tuesday's advice

The people that get on in this world are the people that get up and look for the circumstances that they want; and if they can't find them, they make them.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Feeling slightly guilty

My wonderful daughter is home for the week on spring break and what do I do? I make her come to work with me on Saturday for 6 hours, admittedly it was a fun photo workshop thing, but it was long and I asked a lot of her. Then I volunteered us all to help at the St. Joseph's table at St. Rita last night. Again, fun and great food, but not her choice. Today, grocery shopping. Okay there was also looking at clothes and shoes...so I guess she got her shopping in too. But really its just great to be able to spend some time together in the same city. And to actually converse and share about what's been going on the last 2 months. So yeah, I'm really glad Elizabeth's home. And sorry if I'm being a pain on the neck to her.

A Bright Idea

As I lay in bed starting the string of work thoughts, wondering if I could skip summer reading for adults, I came up with (what I think is) a great idea. Instead of a drawing each week, folks could come to the ref desk to turn in their entry, pick a "numbered coin" out of a Treasure Chest and get that number's prize immediately. That could be anything from a gift certificate for the book sale to a choice of books from the prize box, or some other little trinket. Or of course one of the wonderful gift certificates we always get as donations. That will eliminate phone calling and people who never pick up prizes. It will increase interaction between reference staff and patrons; which has good points and bad...depends on whether you are a patron or ref staff, I guess. And it will encourage parents because then their kids will see that they get prizes too. It sounds like a winner to me. Now to see if I get objections at work. Or maybe I just won't tell them til it starts. ;)

Recent reads

Grave Sight by Charlaine Harris - Unusual powers lead to unusual stories, and this is no exception. I'm awaiting the sequel (or anything else by Charlaine Harris).
Pursenalities : 20 great knitted and felted bags by Eva Wiechmann. I admit it, it hooked me!
Bartimaeus Trilogy Book one - The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud
and Book two- The Golem's Eye - I love a djinn with attitude! I especially enjoyed Simon Jones and the audio version. Waiting for Book three.
The Hanging Valley : an Inspector Banks mystery by Peter Robinson - Standard British procedural, but it kept me guessing until the end.
Passages by Connie Willis - What a story! Well written, fun, and leaves you wondering.
Undead and Unwed by Mary Janice Davison - Vampire love life?
Currently on page 58, Travels with My Aunt by Graham Greene - It meets the bus test ...just barely, but its a "classic" so I feel I should go on.
Can't wait to start...Bite. You guessed it...more vampires. Four stories by "vampire" authors.

Look I'm posting

Every day for the last week I have thought that I should post to my blog, but I just haven't known what to say. I would think of something to rant about, but then realize that I'd already done it. Anyhow I did think of something to post about. That would be Frances. I volunteered to drive people to appointments when I was available, so lately I have been giving rides to Frances. We have gone to the dentist, the doctor , the grocery store and even the hairdresser. I really don't mind the time, especially as she is most grateful for the favors. But oh how I worry about her when she is alone. I know from conversations that she does have friends to talk to. But she has macular degeneration, so reading is not possible. She usually remembers what we have talked about on an earlier visit, but not always, so I do get concerned about her state of mind. But here's the thing that really bugs me...One of her daughters lives right here in town, but can't be bothered to do stuff for her mother. Okay, I'm sure she does some things for her. Frances had surgery last year and the daughter was there for her. But on a day to day basis she doesn't talk to her mom or check on her. Ok, really I have only Frances' word for it, but she is very upset about this. She is sure that she has done something to alienate her daughters, but she doesn't know what. And she lives in fear that they will force her into "a home". Now assisted living may be just what she needs, but she needs to come to that realization herself and not be forced. Also, she is worried about the cost, so she needs to be reassured and not frightened. I am afraid to get involved too much, and yet emotionally I already am. My job puts me in touch with shut-ins and lonely seniors and other needy people on a daily basis, and I'm finding it hard not to let my heart get in the way. But yet my spiritual need is to help people as best I can. And some days my spirit and my practical side are at odds. For now I will content myself with doing the little things as best I can. I offered to bring Frances some movies from the library, combining my spirit and my practical need to do something. And I keep praying for her and her daughters (and myself and my mother, because maybe guilt is part of why it cuts so deep.)

Judging Odyssey, the report

I spent Saturday as a Spontaneous Problem judge at the Odyssey of the Mind competition. The day went pretty well. It was crazy, but in a different way from when you are a coach. (Not the least of which is that I could sleep the night before.) I didn't see much of the long term competition, but doing spontaneous was interesting because the coaches never get to see it...just the kids on the team. So it made me feel special that way! I also feel a lot more competent now that its over and I see the people I worked with. :)
Suprisingly I had a St. Rita team in my problem, and more surprisingly it was the kids I coached last year (at least 1/2 the team)! They were wonderful at spontaneous. It was a hands-on problem (meaning that they had to solve it using "tools" and not just verbally). They worked really well together and did a great job! I was very proud of them (and honestly, quite surprised). I could tell that some of it was from having done practice sessions, since a bunch of the teams clearly had not done much hands-on practice. Which means even my hard work from last year is still reaping benefits for these kids, so that's great news too!
I really had fun judging. The only drawback was the misgivings I had about the rest of my judging team. They just didn't seem to get it that the kids really are not supposed to get advice from the judges. Sure we want them to do well on a level playing field, but the rules are supposed to be somewhat ambiguous to allow for creative interpretation. In fact the judging team was a little creative with the interpretation...but maybe I was just over reacting.
Anyway I did get to see a couple of performances of the long term problem including the St. Rita primary (K-2) team. They were cute as expected. :)

Judging Odyssey

At this time last year I was all stressed out and nervous because I had an Odyssey of the Mind team competing at regionals. And my son was on another team, so we were very busy getting ready. This year I feel slightly guilty that the pressure is off. I have no child or team that I'm personally involved in, so the last few weeks have been a lot calmer than previous years. But I am still planning to go to the competition tomorrow. In fact I need to be there by 7 a.m. because I am judging. And I've roped/invited others to go with me. So we'll all be up bright and early for a long day of competition. I'm still a little nervous about this side of the fence. I think it will be fun to see what the kids come up with, but I'm not quite sure I'm up to scoring their answers. I suspect that having coached I have more experience than some of the new judges, but it will still be interesting and slightly nervewracking. I'm judging the Spontaneous problem, so I've no idea what to expect until I arrive for the "Hour of Power" tomorrow morning, before our first team competes at 8 a.m. We are held to the same rules as the kids...Don't know the problem ahead of time, and can't talk about it til its over. It should be exciting and fun, despite the long day. I know it means a lot to the kids, which is why I got into it from the beginning, so I expect it to be a worthwhile day. And it will be fun to talk to Steve and Matthew about their experiences as well, since we are all doing different problems. Judges... Are you ready?

I did a hard thing today

In one of the most difficult moves in recent history, I got my body to the pool this morning after two months away. And before 8 a.m. I don't understand why people do this exercise thing. I certainly don't feel compelled. But my body is feeling yucky and I feel fat and guilty, so I went. It wasn't too bad I guess, but boy was I tired when it was over (actually about 1/2 way through). And I'm really tired tonight after some other stuff at work this evening. Hopefully that means I will sleep well. Good night.

Marriage Prep Prep

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
--Erma Bombeck

Our Marriage Prep team is looking at some new material to change the way we do things. Maybe enliven or update the presentation for today's couples. I guess I've gone into overload just a little, because I think Erma has the best point I've seen in a while! I guess we have a little ways to go yet before I'm ready with a "new program" to help other folks get ready for marriage. I definitely will work on the Mission statement thing, or at least a definition of what we are supposed to accomplish. From what I've witnessed lately I am sure that no relationship is a sure thing. But I'm still willing to put some effort into mine, and maybe that's the difference, and that's what today's young engaged people need to know.

Feeling insignificant

I was just googling stuff today, nothing really important, but I came across a blog or two. I had an aha moment where I realized that I am just a teeny splash in the blogpuddle. Okay, I knew this before, but today I felt it. I just comment on random stuff in my life, while people are out there posting about social issues and political or literary commentary and trying to effect change in the world. I am not. I am sure it makes no difference to anyone when I post. In fact, I would guess my whole life has rather little effect on the world at large. I suppose if I stopped planning programs and no one else took over a few people might notice, but would they really care? I think maybe the worst part is that I also realized that complacency is for me a way of life. I don't really have any desire to rock the boat or effect social change. I try to make little differences in the part of the world I touch, but I also try not to care too much if it doesn't work. I'm sorry, maybe I'm just having another "Can I just hibernate?" kind of day. But really I feel rather small and insignificant right now.

Jury Duty

Well I am proud to report that I have served my term of jury duty. I dutifully checked the Juror website for my instructions every night for a week. I did not report, since I was not instructed to do so. I did spend a week trying not to plan ahead too much. And actually wishing I would get called, since it seemed like it would be a nice change of pace and I would still get paid for it. But in fact its all over. A non-happening. But I am proud of my service anyway. (And relieved that I may not be called again for 4 years).

More on felting

To get that felted look, you knit (or crochet) your article bigger than you want it, out of 100% wool, and then you purposefully shrink it in the washer with hot water. I did take before and after measurements, but unless you use the same yarn I don't know if the results will be exactly the same. For purses I don't suppose it matters since it doesn't really matter what size it ends up. I guess for a hat or gloves or something else wearable it might. ;)

For a great article about felting see Knitty. com. Knitty also has lots of great patterns and instructions and pictures and stuff. I also like KnittingHelp.com which has little videos to show you how to do stitches and techniques, and is very helpful.

Happy Knitting! And Felting!

This is so cool!

Ever since I saw something felted and found out it was easy enough for me to do, I have been wanting to do a project. I got a book from the library, chose my project, bought yarn and went to work. And here just a few weeks later is the result: A beautiful felted bag.
Check out the before picture. It looks like a big knitted sack:


And afterward, a smaller, more purse sized, bubble bag:
I am so proud of myself because I figured out how to do it with just a little advice and cheerleading from my knitting guru friends and an internet site or two.

Now I can't wait to start the next one!

Side effects of watching the Winter Olympics

• Not doing much reading
  
• Staying up way too late
• Missing Buffy
  
• Increased knowledge of obscure winter sports
• Tension during tight races and skates
  
• Avoiding any news on the internet or radio til I've seen the event myself
• But now I have good current events knowledge...
  
• Cursing NBC's coverage; I mean show us at least a little bit of each event in prime time. Like curling e.g., the favorites (Canada) get beaten and I want to see it!
• The commercials that were cute a week ago becoming insufferable now
  

And best of all....

• Lots of time to complete some knitting and crochet projects
  

The Winter Ball

I have trouble mothering from afar. My daughter is going to a dance tonight (I think) that she's not sure she wants to go to (I think) with someone I have no clue about. I don't know what she's wearing, or how she's getting there, or even where there is. And I'm not sure how much of the details I'll get later. Or maybe pictures? Oh it's hard being a mother from afar.

Spring delusion

I saw 2 robins frolicking yesterday. And the bunnies have been rather frisky. It was 50 degrees and sunny, so I can understand. I felt a little (very little) frolicky myself. But I worry that they will get frozen this weekend when we are back in the teens. I guess its understandable that we are all confused and disoriented by the bizarre winter weather, because even the birds and animals are. I know I felt colder inside the library yesterday than it was outside. It was less sunny inside too. ;) So I'm not quite sure what to expect. Its definitely a delusion to think its really spring. I wouldn't mind another bit of snow, but these teaser days are worrying me, because I fear the worst is yet to come.

Breakfast musing

Our new toaster has settings from 1 to 7 for "doneness". I like my toast "medium", so I tried to make it that way. At 3 1/2 my toast was as dark as could be without calling it burnt. Why do we have 7 settings? Do other people actually like their toast burnt black? Why not just eat a hunk of charcoal? And anyway its supposed to "sense" doneness or something, so why ask me what number I want anyway? Ok, enough musing. I'll drink my tea and go to work.

I'm just a girl who can't say no...

So I'm working ref again tonight. Wake me when its over. :)
PS Happy Valentine's Day

The Winter Olympics

The Olympics are here again! As much as I don't really understand why, I am addicted to watching this stuff. Maybe its being able to root for the little guy, who by the way is not usually the American. (You know, like the Jamaican bobsledders in Cool Runnings). Its really interesting to see the upsets too, when the favorites don't quite live up to the hype. I really feel the tension watching these guys ski or skate or sled. And I feel the excitement when they win. Of course, I also yell at NBC for the stupid stuff they sometimes cover, and the "in your face" things like "how do you feel that you screwed up in your big chance with the whole world watching?". But all in all I enjoy it.

The photography guy

Here I was, desperately worried about doing the black & white photo workshop I foolishly thought I could handle. I was procrastinating putting together a plan of action. I was terrified of my lack of confidence in teaching adults, even though photography is something I feel near and dear to. Enter the photography guy. I think God answers prayers in different ways. I mean what is the likelihood of a patron coming in to ask about photo support groups in Webster while I was at the ref desk? I mean, I'm only out there 12 hours a week (it just feels like more). And yet there he was: (seemingly) knowledgeable, enthusiastic, creative, and available to teach on Feb. 11 too! What remains to be seen is how well he can follow through. I have to admit I'm still a little nervous about the whole thing, but at least talking to him gave me the confidence to follow through with our ideas and get moving. We are meeting this morning to get stuff ready for tomorrow. My only other wish is that some patrons would actually sign up...

Opinion Question

Hypothetically speaking; you inadvertently witness a coworker's embarrassment by another coworker (you work in a small place where sound carries...).
Do you:
1) Ignore it and pretend you don't hear, so you won't further embarrass the first coworker (who is also your friend).
2) Offer support after the fact and/or out of earshot of the embarrasser.
3) Step in and speak up in favor of your friendly coworker who is being unfairly maligned.

You make the call.

Its snowing!

We have had a relatively warm and snow free winter so far. Here we are in February and finally a snowy forecast. It is so pretty and just in time to take some great black and white photos too!
But the funniest thing is that at the sign of a few flakes last night (well, okay an inch or so) people were already talking snow day! I find it highly amusing. And you know people will spend the day complaining about the "rotten weather". But be honest, we knew it would come didn't we? Dress warm and enjoy it!

Dude!

So what is it with "Dude" these days. I frighten myself sometimes it comes so easily to my lips. As a name, a comment, an exclamation, a declaration of victory, a term of endearment. I guess it must be passe in the rest of the world now that I've made it mine. But, dude, it makes me happy!

Super Bowl XL Menu

Spinach calzones (pre-game)
Veggies and dip (Veggie dip , of course)
Cream cheese and cheddar stuffed mini peppers (sweet and HOT)
Little cocktail wiener pigs in a blanket
Fruit bites (cut up fruit cause no one wants to eat a whole apple)
Tortilla chips and the obligatory guacamole
Cheese puffs (healthy ones from the Nature's Marketplace dept.--no MSG)
Cheese and crackers (mostly for show...I mean look how much other stuff there is)
Chocolate cupcakes with banana frosting (decorated at WPL this afternoon)
Cream soda
My daily vitamins

What I missed:
Frozen daiquiris (the bartender must have been too absorbed in the game)

My one year anniversary

Things I've learned:
Oh it is hard to keep up a blog!
Reading blogs is easier than writing them.
I am more awed than ever by watat.
I crave audience participation.
I thought I didn't.
Yet I'm still too shy about blogging to publicize it more. (Fear of rejection?)

Becky had a baby and I'm feeling...

My friend (and Siamese twin) Becky just had her sixth child, Gianna Therese. And I am a jumble of mixed emotions. I am so joyful that there is a new healthy baby in the world. And relieved that the birth went well, as I know pregnancy takes its toll on a woman's body (esp. the "more mature" woman). But I'm not surprised that Becky had a quick labor, her body knows how to have babies (unlike mine which always needed help). I am grateful for my friend's unselfish example of commitment to family life. It gives me a place to look for support when the going gets tough. I'm very frustrated right now at being too far away to offer help with meals and housework. And to drop in and hold that beautiful newborn for a little while. Which leads to the scary fact that I'm just a little bit jealous. There is nothing more special than caring for a brand new baby. (Yeah, I know they grow up. And they are still special then, but in a different way.) I am also feeling a little bit guilty because although I am jealous, I am not willing to have another one myself. I guess that's my selfishness again. But I do congratulate Becky and wish her all the best, including a good night's sleep!

Its hard to blog these days

I think I've succumbed to the need to have comments. I can't keep convincing myself to blog for blogging's sake. I need the support and sustenance of comments. Actually my audience is rather small anyway, so maybe I should just get down and dirty and not worry about negative consequences. And urge the lurkers to comment too. (I know there is at least one of you out there, Matthew). Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a writer and haven't quite figured it out yet. I like what some other folks are doing with their blogs, but I feel guilty stealing ideas. And yet the "top ten" style lists might encourage comments, and force me to think about my day or week. And I do like "quotable" blogs, but I always feel the need to elaborate on those too. Also that implies that I've found something worthy to quote. It is a dilemma. But perhaps I can try a little harder. Tomorrow.

Lean, Mean and 13

Well my baby (I mean, my youngest child) is now officially a teenager. Hard to believe its been thirteen years already since my last experience of childbirth. Those memories still seem fresh. But there have been so many more wonderful things too! The sumo wrestler fat baby. The precocious toddler speaking in full sentences. The suave woman-charming little boy. The sports loving, book reading, game playing, trivia spouting young man of today. The chick magnet of tomorrow. Oh, the things we still have to look forward to! I thank God often for sending me such a terrific kid, especially as I had just asked Him for a sign in my life. Josh is a pretty clear sign that what I still need to be doing is taking care of my family. (And maybe letting them take care of me, too.) Hey God - thanks again!

That Eric Garcia can write!

"I'm not one of those women who feels the need to shop every time the going gets rough. In fact, I often prefer to make my purchases when I'm in a good mood; a beautiful pair of shoes enhances a natural high and brings it to a level that's probably illegal in some states."
-Cassandra French's Finishing School for Boys by Eric Garcia

The cover of this book had me worried that it would be really raunchy, but in fact it is just slightly naughty and highly amusing. I have to admit to liking Eric Garcia's work. It is definitely high on the list of unique fiction. I read a lot of whodunits and am rarely still in the dark at the end. But I have to admit that with a mere 8 pages left I had no idea how this book would end. What an interesting twist Garcia puts on life! (Come to think of it, I was surprised by the ending of Matchstick Men as well). (And then the dinosaur detectives. Hmmm...) It is interesting to note that Garcia wrote this from Cassandra's point of view, and if I didn't know he was a male author I never would have guessed. He did his homework well. Just look at the shoe quote above. I venture to say that is not a man's attitude. Yes he's showing the stereotypic fashion-obsessed woman (as do many female authors) but it is wickedly funny at times. It is LA after all. And then there are "the boys". "I don't know what I would do without them. No matter what's going wrong in my life--my job, my relationships, my hair--they're a bright spot in every day. One day, they'll be gone, back into the world that made them. That's the goal after all. All I can hope is that they will come back now and again to thank me. Then they'll probably ask for another shot of morphine."

Maybe not for everyone, but a unique and enjoyable read!

Adventures at the ER

Josh woke me yesterday morning with a rapid heartbeat and the shakes, although no fever. He has been complaining of stomach pain and generally not eating or drinking for the last 4 days. So being finally freaked out about it I took him to the Doctor. They decided that perhaps we should go to the Pediatric ER at General for an xray. So off we went. (The biggest mistake was that I was too hurried and nervous to eat beforehand myself, so made do the whole day with just a couple granola bars and a glass of water). Well the ER doctor did not think his pain warranted an xray because it was "not localized", i.e. not appendicitis (good news, but not surprising given the lack of fever). What they did do was blood work, and put him on IV to rehydrate him. To ward off evil thoughts, and to distract us, I read to him (and we worked on a crossword puzzle), and it made the time go faster. I had an evil sinus headache, so what I really wanted was to have him move over in the bed so I could take a nap with him. (Actually, the nurse said that its not unusual for that to happen). Josh asked lots of questions and found out about IVs and monitors and such. After the first 500 ml of saline he finally got some color into his cheeks and perked up a bit. Enough to be able to stand without feeling light headed. I had a discussion with the doc about what symptoms to look for with real inflammatory bowel and or irritable bowel syndromes. It was not terribly busy so I wonder if that's why he spent time to explain things...Or maybe doctors are better at that stuff than I thought, esp. if you ask the right questions and act ignorant enough. He gave Josh instructions about what to start eating (clear liquids, bland foods etc.) and sent us home. The final diagnosis (although it sounds like a symptom) was "non-specific abdominal pain". It was a very long 5 hours...at least to me, and I was exhausted when I got home. I guess he was too, but I'm not sure he expended the emotional energy I did. Especially the part about worrying about work, even though I knew that was in good hands. Well, I hope to not have to do that again soon.

I Love Travelogues

Despite the bother of taking down tables and setting up all the chairs, getting the coffee and tea and juice and cookies, I still love travelogues. I guess its because we get to see great pictures while hearing a virtual adventure. And most of the presenters are very nice people and easy to work with. But best of all my regular travelogue attendees truly appreciate what I do. I get tons of positive feedback, and the people keep coming back for more. I think 90% of the 65(!) who attended today were repeat attenders. And that makes me feel great too!

Books, Books and more Books

I spent all afternoon updating my books of authors I like to read, and all the books of theirs I missed, or need to watch for. Anyway, all I need now is lots of time to read. :)

Positive Affirmations

Here are my thumbs up experiences (that could have been downers) from the last week:

• Making gel candles with a bunch of teens. I was terrified of all the things that could go wrong (esp. the fear of setting off the sprinkler system in the library with smoke). But none of the terrible things came to pass, the candles turned out great, the teens were happy and good natured, and I slept very well that night (from exhaustion and relief I guess).
• A patron complimented my hair. We actually had a discussion of how our mothers both suggested that we color our hair. In my case I just am too lazy to put that much effort into my hair (not to mention that done wrong it could look very bad indeed, and I have no skill in that area). But it was a good feeling to know that not everyone thinks I look old and gray. In fact I get just enough good hair compliments to keep me going even on the worst of hair days.
• Teaching Basic Internet to a class of 13. Through some fluke that will probably never be understood 13 people showed up for my Tuesday morning Internet class. I was expecting 6. The miracle is that it went very well. And while I did not get fabulous comments, no one walked off in a huff either. And I got some supportive comments from coworkers that made me feel I'd done a great thing indeed. Earning that respect was the best part.
  

Very Interesting!

You may not have noticed, but I have blogger's block. I want to post, but nothing seems interesting enough to say. Until I got an email today with some pictures from this site:
http://www.canstruction.org/
Check it out. Lots of cool sculptures made out of cans of food. Its a design industry charity to help fight hunger. And the artisitic results are incredible. Use the Competition tab and look at winners from the last few years. They are amazing!

January Blues

It's happened again. That terrible post holiday slump. I am so tired, mentally and physically, that I can hardly function, and yet...I must. I have traveled and seen folks who I miss (and always miss more just after seeing them). I took a week off from work, but came back to the week from hell. 15 hours of busy reference time that was unbelievably stressful (moreso because of the aforementioned mental fatigue). Of course we also need to factor in the Seasonal Affective Disorder. One sunny afternoon does not make up for 10 days without seeing the sun, or even a lightness in the sky. How can we function if it is always twilight? I have new respect for arctic dwellers. So anyway I have not made resolutions either. I would have broken them all already since I still have all my bad habits from last year...and then some. I have yet to get my body back to the pool, or to any exercise. I just can't seem to get the enthusiasm worked up. Nor can I easily get my pants zipped up, so squeezing back into the bathing suit is not something I'm looking forward to. My procrastination gear is on High. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Oh, okay, even the spirit is weak...

Red Sox fans respond to Damon's move to the Yankees

Torture

Well I haven't been posting due to technical difficulties (i.e. not getting my turn, being out of town, and the PC sounding like it has black lung disease) , but I could not let the opportunity go by to complain about the dentist. I don't really care for dental visits. They are usually uncomfortable and always give me a headache. Not to mention the tension as I lie waiting for something to hurt (whether it does or not is irrelevant, I still get tense). I do like the feeling of nice clean teeth, but today I wondered if it was worth it because I had to listen to Country Music while I had my teeth cleaned. Aargh. That just adds insult to injury.

Rant over. Happy New Year! Maybe I should resolve to floss more. I always do after a dental visit, but then it wears off.